Posts
Random (funny) advice for runners...
So, after yesterday's amazing experience, I'm shifting gears (down?) and presenting you with my personal collection of random advice for runners... lessons I've learned along my (short) running journey... so sit back, enjoy, and for the love of cheese, don't drink anything (and if you do, I cannot be held responsible for wet keyboards, monitors, or snorted liquid into your nose).
Move it or lose it
CHARGE it!
I shoulda had a V-8!
You're a mobile billboard
Let me in, let me in!
Move it or lose it
Yes, this is WAY too much info, but it has to be said. Visit the porcelain God(dess) before you head out to run. Runners are blessed with a lovely possibility called Runner's Runs, and trust me when I say that there is NOTHING worse than being miles from home, no restroom in sight, and getting hit HARD with the urge to, ah, go. Peeing isn't so bad. But anything more, and you risk losing a sock or two. Don't do it!! :)
Nip it in the bud
In other words- protect your nipples. Now, this is more for our gentleman friends, but it can strike anyone, really. Don't earn your vertical racing stripes, people, for the love of God. Embrace technology- body glide, bandaids, no cotton shirts on rainy days, heck, I've even heard of people using duct tape (if you can't duct it, f... oh, never mind)! Bottom line is take care of your sensitive bits- they (and we) will thank you for it.
CHARGE it!
No, I don't mean your running gear, I'm talking technology again. I think we've all gotten ready to head out for a run- excited about the possibilities- and realized that our iPod, HRM, Garmin, etc wasn't charged and ready to go. Horror of horrors. Yes, we can do tech-free runs- and sometimes they're even (gasp) fun, but if you know you're technology dependent (Hello, my name is Ali and I'm a technophile...), then be sure your goods are charged and ready to go... or be prepared to run in the style of our ancestors- sans tech! :)
I shoulda had a V-8!
This one is not so much funny, as it is really important- pay attention to what you're running on! Running on uneven surfaces is very much NO bueno. It leaves you open to injury, and torments your knees, calves and feet. Please be kind (rewind), and take care of your feet and legs... they keep you moving!! (why it's so bad)
You're a mobile billboard
I beg of you- be aware of what you're advertising. Some things aren't so bad, and can raise awareness (Livestrong!)... others, well... let's consider this: you're on a nice long run. It's a hot day, and the heat along with your exertion are making you good and sweaty... in that moment do you really want "juicy" scrawled across your ass? Seriously gross, people. I know I don't want to consider the possibility there, so please... just, be aware.
So fresh and so clean
So fresh and so clean
Let's be honest for a moment... accidents happen to athletes. You could fall and break a leg... have a wayward deer buck you, or run into a tree while you were busy watching the hottie in front of you... Regardless of how it happens, it happens. And as such, your mom was right- if an ambulance had to get you, do you want skid marks and holes to be their first sight of your finely tuned body? Yeah, me neither. So be sure you're clean- at least to start. Thank you, on behalf of your local, friendly paramedic team.
Let me in, let me in!
One last piece of advice- make sure that you have a way to get back in your house- do you realy want to be sweaty and pounding on your own door, or climbing in a window after a run? I have this mental image of Fred Flintstone, in running tights pounding on the door demanding to be let in. Don't be that person.
Above all, have fun. That's the best advice I can give you... running is FUN, enjoy it. Ta ta until next time.
HA! Love them all. Well except the nip it in the bud although.....hmmm sometimes I OK TMI!!! And i didn't even say anything!!! Just seems like talking about my nips on a new blog that I read, well I want you to LIKE ME!!! :O)
Oh #1 2 I mean #2 when you have to #2 you should make sure you have some sort of receptacle right? Runners runs is that the same as runners running???
Great post girlie!!
LOL - I have locked myself out of my house after a long run, and then, in my attempt to get into the house, nearly trapped myself in the fenced back yard. Now I have an extra key to slip into that handy phone pocket.